Before we get to congratulating the respective winners of the recently completed U.S. Open we have to first address the efforts of the Heroes of the Huddled Masses. We won't mince words, we know a turkey when we see one, or two. This was without a doubt the worst Major ever in the history of the Huddled Masses. Both Ivan Ljubcic and Max Mirnyi were dismissed in the first round of singles, Ljubcic in straight sets. Even the torch bearers for the Masses, the Bryan Brothers, were beaten in the third round of doubles. This snapped their record streak of making it to the finals of a Major at seven. It's a good thing that Roger Federer has been inducted into the Hallowed Halls or we would be completely out of luck.

Of course everyone knows that Federer and Maria Sharapova were the big winners at the Open. Federer handled Andy Roddick once again and Sharapova dismissed the "Belgian Quitter" saving us all from the prospect of listening to her tell us how "great a fighter" she is. If there had been a respectable umpire in the chair for the semifinal match between the "BQ" and Jelena Jankovic we might not have had to even see her in the final. Jankovic was up a set and a break when she lost her composure over the umpire's refusal to overrule a call on the service line, instead insisting that she use one of her "Mac Cam" challenges. I wasn't aware that this technology was an excuse for the chair umpire to forsake his duties and leave everything up to the discretion of the player as to whether a ball was in or out. Regardless, Jankovic fell apart and lost the last ten games and the match. Meanwhile Sharapova was throwing a couple of bagels in the first and third set at world number one Amelie Mauresmo in the other semi. To save her pride Mauresmo managed to win the second set.

Will Andy Roddick ever be able to beat Federer in the finals or any round for that matter of a Major? Probably not, for all the firepower that Roddick has and bringing Jimmy Connors on board as coach, his game is still so one dimensional. It's all serve and forehand, which may be enough to beat Mikhail Youznhy but as Federer showed once again not near enough to beat the king.

Of course the Open will be remembered for the final appearance of Andre Agassi who, despite getting cortisone shots for a bad back, had enough game to advance to the third round before losing to Benjamin Becker. I've never been a huge fan of Agassi's but he always (for the most part) was willing to play Davis Cup and that's enough for me. Martina Navritilova also bid good-bye by going out in style by winning the Mixed Doubles with Bob Bryan.

And of course I would be remiss if I did not mention the USTA center being named after Billie Jean King due largely in part to her tireless devotion to the game of tennis. We can thank her for the formation of World Team Tennis and be thankful that the USTA shot down her ideas of shortening sets to four games. Tennis pioneer that she may be, that had to rank with Howard the Duck being made into a feature film as one of the worst ideas ever.